Category: Let's talk
this is an article i get from eyes2eyes.com. what will u do when you screw up?
What do you do when you screw up? When you say or do something that you know has
caused someone hurt? Do you confront your behaviors immediately? Or, do you run and
hide? Do you accept responsibility for your actions or do you find excuses to justify
them? What do you do?
We are all human. We all make mistakes. We all say and do things at times that can
be hurtful to others. How you handle things once the mistake has been made can make
all the difference in the world.
Think about a time when someone hurt you with their words or actions. Remember how
you felt? If the person came to you quickly after the incident and accepted responsibility,
apologized and acknowledged your feelings, did this make a difference in how you
felt? Or did the person avoid discussing things with you? Did you have to wait days,
weeks, months, or even longer to have this issue brought up? How did it feel?
It makes a huge difference when someone owns up to their actions and confronts the
other person with what has happened. When hurt, anger, and betrayal are not acknowledged,
understood, and dealt with they tend to grow into even larger, more intense feelings
that could have easily been avoided if the person causing the hurt had simply addressed
this issue with the person who was hurt. Sooner is always better than later in situations
like this. If you are a person who likes to run and hide due to shame, guilt, denial,
anger, or whatever feelings you have regarding what you’ve done, then you are setting
yourself up to face even more hurt and anger once you do deal with the issue.
Most people are more likely to forgive, to allow trust to be re-earned, and to work
with you to resolve issues if you address your mistakes immediately. The longer you
wait, the less likely a person will be willing to understand, to accept your apologies,
and to forgive and allow resolution to occur.
When you hurt someone, you’ve obviously done so because of some negative feelings
you yourself had. Those need to be dealt with too. If you don’t deal with those,
you’ll most likely continue to hurt, not just others, but also yourself. Though we
all make mistakes, it is our responsibility to accept those mistakes, to face them
in a timely fashion, to understand the hurt and pain our actions have caused, to
do what needs to be done to resolve the situation, and most of all to learn from
these mistakes so that we can hopefully prevent future hurt to ourselves and others.
i think that article is good. i always try and say sorry as soon as possible if i know i have hurt or upset someone, though it does help if the person in question tells you that you have hurt or upset them. sometimes you can just tell by their reaction. i've had different experiences with different people. me and my dad didn't contact each other for about six months, now we have an email relationship which is better than nothing. life's too short.
I agree with that, if I say somethign to hurt soem one I usually try to fix things as soon as I realize it other wise it bothers me too. I kid around but that's what it is, as anyoen who has seen it can tell you, if I actually hurt some one with somehting I say all they have to do is let me know and I'll admit I said it, appologize and see if I can still be friends with the person if we were or maybe even se can get to know each other better from there on, you'd be surprised how many times that's resulted in friends though I hate doign it that way and make every effort not to do that.
yes Shilob, life is short. no matter whats going on, take it easy. we are fortunate enough to come to this world. for me, i'll appologise if i'm the one who wrong and i'll admit it. take things easy, thats the way for a successful friendship or relationship.